Book Brats Reviews

Confessions of a Jealous Book Blogger

With all the posts lately about the competition in book blogging, the inherent jealousy involved, and the ways bloggers will claw and stab their way to the top, I was left thinking about something…

I am a jealous book blogger.

Saying those words hurts, but it’s the truth. I look at people’s book hauls and their trips to conventions and their awesome trips to book signings and I think, “I wish I was them.” The truth of the matter is that I’m broke. I’m actually more broke than broke – I owe Uncle Sam a LOT of money because I wanted a piece of paper that says I’m a Master. It hasn’t helped me land a great job like I’d expected, or at least a low paying job with prestige. I’m actually starting a part time position soon that pays very poorly, just to get a foot in the door and experience. I still live with my parents. The only reason I can afford to go to ALA in Chicago this year is because I’m staying with my dear co-blogger, using frequent flier miles I incurred for school-related trips to Asia, and breaking into my inheritance for the rest.

The feeling of going to a book signing and knowing you won’t be able to buy any books is kind of panic-inducing. In fact, as I write this, I am trying to rationalize using money I’ve set aside for a loan payment just so I can buy three paperback books that I’ll just use for a giveaway. You want to know why? Because that giveaway could bring a lot of traffic to my blog, and in the end, that is what I care about. I want to build my blog and expand it at the expense of myself, because I feel deep inside me jealousy that others get free books and attention and Kindles and I don’t.

Why not me? Why do they get something but I don’t?

In the pursuit of my own jealousy, feeding my own jealousy with pictures of towering book hauls and boxes of books lined on doorsteps, I’ve said some snarky things, felt bad about a lot, and once cried because I knew I said the wrong thing and got my ass handed to me on a platter because of it. Luckily, the ass reattachment surgery worked, but it was touch and go there for awhile. And I got to keep the platter.

I’ve felt this my entire life, but no stronger than in college where I had to share my scholarship for international affairs – money that I would spend on a plane ticket to study abroad in Japan – with a girl who applied for it because she knew nobody else would apply. She didn’t care about international relations. She just knew that everyone would apply for the law scholarship and not the international affairs one. She later went on to beat me out for the Graduate of the Year honors – I received the runner up honors. I was fuming until I realized that it didn’t matter.

I struggle with jealousy, and I have for my entire life. Maybe because of that, blogging might not be the best thing for me. Every day I am bombarded by signed books and happy squees, even from bloggers I consider to be my friends. Hell, I got jealous of Andi once when she got an epic box of review books and I didn’t. At the end of the day, though, I love books, and I love to talk about books, and I love to tell others about books. It’s just that when I get books, it’s either thanks to scrimping and saving my pennies, buying used, borrowing money from my parents, searching the hell out of the internet for Swagbucks to get a gift card, or using the power of the internet to trade books – spending $6 on media mail for a box of 5 newer books is a good deal to me.

I’ve studied intricately the ways that bloggers get ahead, and I’ve tried – with better or worse results – to replicate them on Book Brats. I’ve had giveaways for signed books. Depending on the author, it didn’t really work out well. I’ve tried using GIFs in reviews and lying in reviews and sucking up hardcore in reviews. Turns out, not many people give a crap about reviews unless you attack something about the book and turn the review into mud flinging. I had giveaways for gift cards that I saved and saved and saved for. That, as it turns out, did work well, but when you switch from GFC to Networked Blogs thanks to moving to WordPress, all your hard work is for naught. Nobody cares about Networked Blogs. It wracked me when I realized that I had to start from scratch to rebuild my blog audience, and it still isn’t the same. I always think that if I had stayed on Blogger, I’d have enough followers now for more publicists to look at me and go, “She has a great audience!”

The publicists I work with now, by the way, are some of the most amazing people ever. And I know that the publicists I don’t work with are just as amazing. I just don’t know them… yet. I’ll just say yet, because I know that someday we’ll be BFFs. That day just probably isn’t today.

(But if you are a publicist and you think I’m adorable and sad, my email is megan@book-brats.com .)

Andi sometimes assures me that we have been doing a great job with the blog, that since I moved to WordPress we’ve more than doubled our hits. We have 1200 Facebook fans, I have 2360 Twitter followers, we have fans that love us! But I admit, I sit here at my computer anxiously tweeting, waiting for hits, biting my nails that maybe someone will reply. I sit here some days wondering why nobody will comment, or ask a question for an awesome activity, or reply to my tweets that I think are witty. I tell Andi, “I have 2360 followers and nobody ever replies to me.”

I’ve had anxiety attacks thanks to my Twitter feed. It’s not pretty.

I am a jealous blogger, but I want to change. I have probably said that before in one way, but I am coming to a realization now, finally, after almost two years of blogging. This is the point in the movie where the main character has an epiphany, so stay with me.

Why should I care that other bloggers are inundated with books they might not even ever read? Why should I be jealous of bloggers that are nothing like me? Why should I care that bloggers get to enjoy signed books? I don’t even care about signed books that much, except for my signed copy of Embassytown by China Mieville which I hid in my closet so that if the house is robbed nobody will touch it. I doubt a redneck robber even knows who he is, but better safe than sorry.

Ever since I started blogging, I’ve known that I wanted to appeal to a subset of readers that might enjoy the same books I read. Then again, that person is probably me. I’m my ideal reader – someone who enjoys science fiction more than anything else, someone who enjoys snark, an intellectual who likes to read Wikipedia for fun, an enjoyer of GIFs, a connoisseur of crap. I set out to be honest, to be blunt, and to learn from the industry and every book I’ve read. And I’ve done that. I’m not a blogger for everyone, but I do love when people tweet me or comment and tell me that I’ve done a great job.

And over the past 19 months, I think I have done a good job.

Don’t worry, this isn’t the part where I say I’m closing the blog down and retiring to a life of oblivion.

This is the part where I realize that yes, I’ve been a jealous blogger. And 95% of the time, it’s been silly. The other 5% of the time I still can’t fathom why a person has gotten books after they’ve plagiarized or written a two sentence review that amounted to, “SQUEE!” I put hours into my blog each day, mostly because I have no life outside of this blog and the few hours a week I go to work. I don’t have money to go see my best friends, living hours away – or more. I don’t have the money to go see movies or to buy new dresses and go on dates, if I even knew the first thing about attracting a boyfriend. I can, however, afford a few dollars a week to trade books with other bloggers or to go to the Goodwill and find a book that just came out two months ago (!!!!), or to trek to Ollie’s on my way home from work to buy a $3 remaindered copy of LOLA AND THE BOY NEXT DOOR. I can’t afford to go to conventions often, or to spend $100 a month on new books as much as I dream of it, or to have giveaways to remind my readers that I love them.

Hell, if you guys remember my attempts at donating to my library, you’ll remember that I’m not a big fan of them anymore for a multitude of reasons.

I like to do what I do – reviewing books honestly, the books I like to read, the books I want to read. I am never going to be a blogger who spouts off five star reviews willy nilly, even though I have before. Sometimes I can’t help but review with my heart, even when the head is screaming, “Megan, are you fucking stupid?!”

This confession was more like a chance to get things off my chest, and to let you guys know how it is to be “that random blogger”. I’m not a big blogger, I’m not a new blogger, I’m not a cute blogger, or a perky blogger, or a rich blogger, or a blogger that ever gets nominated for awards. I’m just the blogger that I am – forever honest to a fault, snarky, desperate for attention sometimes, sad others, and always Megan.

Megan (246 Posts)

Megan is the founder of Book Brats, started as an unemployment project in June 2011. She's a twentysomething writer/reader/all around nerd with a love of cats, science fiction, fantasy, and film. With her master's degree, her goal is to one day be the US Ambassador to Japan and win the Best Original Screenplay Oscar.


Feb, 05 by


70 thoughts on “Confessions of a Jealous Book Blogger

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  1. <333 So candid. I think I've also struggled with jealousy..just in general in life but in blogging too. Not so much about books typically (though on occasion that DOES happen and used to happen a ton but I've somehow gotten over it mysteriously) but more so bc I feel like everyone is smarter and cooler and more creative and more FUN than I am. Whenever I get in one of these moods I go to one of my blogging bffs and they remind me that there are at least a few people who think I'm awesomesauce. It's a big sea to speak in the blogosphere and it's easy to feel lost or left out or feel envious.

    I've been blessed to be able to do some great things in terms of seeing my blogging bffs and going to cool things but since August I got laid off and I'm right with you. I want to a Fierce Reads tour and i couldn't buy a single thing and I felt so sad and kind of ashamed. It's so hard but I've just learned to adapt. Love my library a little more. Borrow from friends. etc.But I feel ya. I haven't bought clothes in foreverrrr. WAH. I think that pains me almost more than books haha.

    I've been working on a lot of this stuff so really an aptly timed post!
    I feel ya on so much more of this post than I can even say but thanks for sharing!

  2. Megan,

    I think most of us feel this way much of the time. I know that I have been jealous of haul posts before, something that, admittedly, has become much easier to handle now that I have too many books to review, which probably doesn’t mean I’ve really dealt with it. Despite the jealousy, I do like seeing people’s book hauls, because it’s a great way to find out what’s coming out soon. What really gets my goat, as you mentioned too, is when known plagiarists or two-sentence squee-ers or dishonest reviewers receive that one book you would trade your spare kidney for. I don’t think I’ll ever get over that. The whole thing would be less frustrating if I at least saw the logic to it. If it were all about page views or quality or something tangible, I might understand. It’s the not knowing what about me isn’t good enough that really stings.

    There’s nothing wrong with buying used books at the Goodwill. I have over a thousand books, but the reason for that is that most of them are second-hand. I can buy one brand new hardback or ten books from Goodwill. It’s not a hard choice. I buy more new books now that I’m book blogging, and I’m lucky to have the income to be able to do so, but I don’t buy most of them for me. If you want more new shiny books, enter the giveaways. If you do the daily tweets, you will win a lot of stuff.

    Signed books are nice, I guess, but the only ones I REALLY care about are the ones with personal messages, of which I have 2. The others are nice, but they’re just autographs not signs of friendship.

    Jealousy has been a life-long struggle for me, due to a long period of time in childhood with either no friends or two-faced friends. I longed to be someone else, to live their lives which looked so easy on the outside. Getting over these feelings takes a lot of time, but I do think it’s possible and that you can do it.

  3. First and foremost … You have your Masters? Congratulations. Seriously – that’s a HUGE deal. Well done you for working so hard to get it!! That you have maintained your blog while at school, and now while you work tells me you have your priorities in order. It doesn’t matter who gets what or goes where. It’s obvious that you love books, you love talking about them, and you love talking to other people who love them. True book lovers don’t care if you are talking about the book that came out last week, or the book that came out last century – the book is what matters, and your enthusiasm is what brings people back to your blog. If it’s a competition for the ‘latest and greatest’, then they are missing the point. In the end, loving what you do is all that matters, and I’m glad that you continue to write your reviews!

    • Yes, I have a MA in international relations, which is sadly not a field that is hiring right now! And I started the blog actually a month after I graduated, so no mix of school and play for me, LOL. But thank you for your comments!

  4. Megan, I applaud you for writing this post. This has to be one of the most honest things I’ve ever seen in the book blogging community. We’re told not to be jealous, not to compare, and that of course, not everyone will like us. But does that stop our brain from being jealous, making comparisons and wanting everyone to like us? Absolutely not (oh, and when you have any kind of anxiety… these emotions can be ramped up and get out of control). This is something I struggle with too sometimes — one step I take is to filter out haul posts from my Google Reader (& I totally admit that I’ve done a few in the past myself). Haul posts, while they can be fun, often do incite jealousy, and comparisons in me and my blog can’t be what I want it to be when I’m always comparing myself to others.

    I also really like your point that like the ideal readers for our blogs are ourselves. Blogs reflect our personality (however well) and so we are putting ourselves out there, hoping that we find others that are just like us. Looking for acceptance or verification that we are interesting, worthy, cool, etc. However, we’re human — no one is going to be identical and so I guess we can’t expect everyone to have the same interests, understand our witty remarks, etc. But that doesn’t mean that we aren’t interesting, or worthy, etc!

    Oh & I’d really like to say that as much as you love your blog, you need to take care of yourself hun. Spending money that is for loan repayments to get books signed for a giveaway — that’s going to affect your future, but none of your followers. That seems like a hefty price to pay, IMO. Your true followers will stick around, and new ones brought in by the giveaway? Well they may just leave right after it’s done. So to me at least the payoff really isn’t there.

    In the end, my opinion is just do what works for you. Personally, I don’t want to go out of my way to do things that don’t work for me — because then when I do get followers, they aren’t liking the true me, but a constructed, commercial me. Throughout my past year of blogging I’ve realized that maybe that means I will be just the “random blogger” that doesn’t receive books or works with publishers, and I’ve come to accept that. If it happens, great, but it also can’t change who I am and what I want my blog to be. Also? A lot of the time I enjoy the “random bloggers” MUCH more than the ones with more followers, giveaways, reviews, etc.

    Sorry for the giant response — I just wrote what came to me.

    Oh, and if it’s OK I’d like to extend a *hug* :)

  5. Ahh! Book Jealously…is such a horrible feeling. I hate when I feel that way. But then I have to remind myself that if I were getting tons of books from publishers I would inevitably end up stressed out about getting reviews done and I don’t want that.
    I enjoy reading and reviewing and I don’t want to feel pressured to get things done. I post when I post and I don’t fret too much when I don’t have a post for a day or two.

    I get the not having any money for books too. I’ve only recently been able to start buying books again.

    I’m hoping that your new job will lead to better things in the future:D

  6. I have to say I LOVE this post. I was literally nodding the whole way through, and I love that you’re so honest and upfront about your feelings.

    My blog is still new enough that I can (mostly) contain my jealousy about publishers etc, but like you I wish I had more to spend on books on giveaways. Outside of blogging though I have exactly the same issues you do. Just this weekend I managed to say a few things I really shouldn’t have about a friend (that I’m very jealous of). Still not sure if she heard them but I’ve spent all week trying to figure out how to get a better handle on my jealousy issues.

    I doubt you’re the only one who gets jealous of more than just the 5% that is genuinely baffling – we all get jealous sometimes and I don’t think anyone could blame you for it!

    Good for you for being brave enough to vent about it all, and for reviewing a book exactly how you want to, rather than how a publisher/author would want you to! As a reader, it’s blogs like this with brutal honesty (and humour!) that I’ll keep coming back to again and again.

  7. I love how honest and sincere your post is. I’ve felt the exact same about blogging so many times even though I’m pretty new to the book blogging community. I’m also in a similar situation…I have my master’s but am still unemployed. There are so many things I want to do with my blog like get an awesome design or host giveaways, but I just can’t afford it. I’ve been hitting the library pretty hard to get books to review, either borrowing or from used book sales. Seeing book hauls can make me pretty jealous, but it’s something I’m working on to get over.

    Having just joined the blogging community last year, I’ve definitely been dealing with the issues you’ve mentioned. It’s a relief to see that others feel the same way. Thanks for sharing with us!

  8. My darling, I know we chatted about this on IM, but I really wanted to say it again. We’re doing AWESOME! Sure, we may not have gone from 0 to 60k like some bloggers, but our readers are loyal. 40% of our monthly views are from reoccurring visitors. I’ll take those over the 60% of people that just come and go for giveaways any day. We write our posts, and we have our discussions, and we’ve always done them with the dignity that I’m proud of. We can both negatively review a book without resorting to attacking the author and being cruel. I am PROUD of the fact that authors have read our negative feedback and thanked us for it.

    You are amazing my dear, you took in a lonely, shy blogger like myself and have patiently walked me through the scary world that is talking to publishers and talking to others. And you’re welcome to sleep in my closet and ignore the perfectly good guest room any time. <3

  9. You are amazing for doing this. Thank you for it. Your honesty is refreshing, especially in light of some sneaky stuff that is going around. Everyone feels this way. Everyone gets jealous. It’s how things work, it makes us competitive. We just have to find a good way to channel. Channel it into making things awesome, not trying to break things down. Good luck.

  10. I think it’s great that you posted this. It’s funny how sometimes we can feel like we’re the only ones who aren’t stacking up to the perceived awesomeness of others, when really everyone feels like this sometimes. I almost had to double check which blog I was on as I was reading this, because it didn’t seem like you could possibly be the one writing this. I may only have started following you recently, but I love your blog. I usually read and don’t comment because I just assume other people will, that my comments wouldn’t matter that much anyway. This post has definitely encouraged me to start commenting more.

    I always assume that other people are better off than me. This post definitely reminded me that there are other people who can relate to me, other people who are still living with their parents, who have a degree that’s not helping them get a job, who can’t afford to buy all the new books that it seems like everyone else is buying. It sucks that these are the facts of our lives, but we just have to do the best we can and be happy with what we do have – and you have a fantastic blog that you should feel very proud of. :)

  11. I commend you for your honesty and dang, you’re ballsy. :)

    This honestly strikes a chord. It’s not something nice to admit, especially to yourself. I’m a jealous blogger too. I don’t have money for books (I have to go to the library and as much as I love it, it’s not the same as owning them.) I don’t even have a stupid job (fine, I’m still a student but a job is a job and money is money). I don’t get to go to author events or cons because I freaking live on the other side of the world. I get all sad and jealous that all these people get free books, ARCs at that, and I don’t. I understand why I don’t get them. I’m a little tiny small blogger and none of these things are my fault. But still. I can’t help how I feel and feelings are stupid that way.

    People often see jealousy as petty but this is not it. Keep doing what you love to do. Read. Review. Socialise with other bloggers. Read. It’ll be alright.

  12. This post really resonates with me. I struggle big time with jealousy and it seems that too often the person who kisses ass the best gets ahead. There are a few book bloggers who I honestly don’t understand why it is that they are so popular and why it is that publishers will send them a huge stack of books when their reviews contain zero substance. It’s irritating.

    I also get so insanely jealous of all the people who talk about how many book blogger “friends” they have and how they all do stuff like go to signings together. I have one friend who likes to read and she’s all the way across the country. Completely jealous of that kind of support.

    I too don’t have the money to buy a buttload of books, host a ton of giveaways or pay to have an awesome layout, but I also want to grow my blog which means I have to find a way around all of that.

    It was nice for me to know that someone else feels somewhat similar to the way I feel, so thank you for writing this!

    • Megan is the only blogger I actually chat with (and she’s on the East Coast and I’m in Chicago) – I was very intimidated when I went to RT:Booklovers last year, it was almost like being in High School again. All the book bloggers were in their little cliques and I was just me all alone – so I know how you feel!

      Also, don’t be afraid to ask for layout help sometimes. Megan started by asking for help with moving Book Brats from Blogger to WordPress, and ended up with me doing all the layout work and reviewing for the site as well all for the price of being stuck with me now. I’m a web developer professionally, and I LOVE helping out others.

  13. Oh, Megan. First of all, writing this post automatically makes you my favorite blogger. So much honesty…I applaud you.

    Everything you mention pretty much applies to me. I’m fresh out of college with a Master’s in something that was promising when I started out, now nobody seems to need us anymore. Unemployed, a single mom, living with my parents, saving for two months to be able to host a $15 book giveaway in hope of raising traffic and followers count. Everything you said hit home.

    Jealousy is inevitable. Too many things aren’t fair in the blogosphere. How do we deal with that? I wish I knew…

    I think we chatted on Twitter a few times, but the reason why I’m not more active…I guess with the overload on my Twitter feed and RSS readers, it’s impossible to catch everything.

    Hang in there, and just do what you love. Big *hugs*.

  14. Yes, sometimes I get jealous of people who have large, but I don’t think I could handle reading 50 books in 4 weeks, and deal with schoolwork at the same time.
    I love reading your reviews, interviews, and random posts that can relate books to real life things.
    Whenever I see Book Brats on my email, its the first thing that I open :D
    Your honesty is refreshing, and you good karma, so good things will come your way.

  15. Megan, I LOVE this post!

    I get jealous of people who have large hauls (I scroll and scroll and the post is still not over), people who are funnier than I am, people who seem cooler, and more. I really admire your honesty and your willingness to share this. It really hit it home for me.

    I love how you said, “I’m my ideal reader” and I know that the same is for me too. I blog about books I love, hopefully attracting similarly minded people.

    Jealousy is inevitable and I guess the best way to deal with it is to channel it into something else…

    Good things will come your way, Megan! *hugs*

  16. This is probably the most important post about blogging I’ve read since becoming a blogger myself. I have been jealous of other bloggers a lot. Jealous over the books they get, and the connections they have with authors/other bloggers. I get jealous when a review I spent ten hours writing gets one comment, and I see reviews that are two liners getting twenty comments. I think we all get a little jealous sometimes, it’s perfectly normal.

    I definitely feel like that random blogger too. Keep writing amazing reviews, and the real followers will continue to come. :]

  17. Awww Megan, this post made me sad. You have no need to lie or suck up in a review. You are a good writer and you bring up points about books that I didn’t think of until I read your opinion. I don’t think there is anyone out there who hasn’t suffered from jealousy at one point or another. You have to be Jedi not to let jealousy get to you.

    I think you have great ideas and great features and keep it up!

    Also, I agree with everyone that you are very brave for posting this.

  18. Most of the comments already left pretty much say it all. It’s okay to be jealous and be frustrated especially when you see some shady bloggers get the goods. I’d just continue to focus on your current content. While it would be nice to get stacks and stacks of books, I often think, where would I put them all? If you give them away afterwards then you have to worry about mailing them, etc. In the end, this isn’t about keeping up with Joneses. That’s where I think some bloggers lose focus and I’d rather have quality content than the cookie cutter types that are around.

    I can relate to you and the money situation. I’ve mentioned to you before that I left a blog that was growing a following at another social networking site and now that I’m on my own, I find myself wondering what to do to get more followers, etc. I’ve thought of offering up items, etc, but the truth is, financially I’m not there. I understand having a master’s degree and living at home. I’m in the same situation and can’t land a part time job! I’ve been lucky that I’ve been able to do some temp work, but I’m stuck until someone is willing to put aside the whole “over qualified,” etc talk I get or go for the PhD and sadly there isn’t much hiring in the Humanities right now. You can offer x, y, z until you are blue in the face, but the fact is, you might increase followers for a bit, but what of the long haul? I think you need to treat yourself first and worry about giveaways secondly. Buy that book for yourself and not for the blog. The time for giveaways, etc will come, but for now take the time for you. Enjoy the convention and if possible pick up swag packs and offer those. ;)

  19. I so agree with you, about everything. It’s almost like an obligation to do “Good” giveaways, and get more traffic. However, some of the people that ‘follow’ only do it until the contest is over. My blogmate actually told me about that. I’m the naive one in our blog duo. I didn’t want to believe it, but per usual.. she was right! It definitely hurt my self esteem. [I know, I'm kinda lame like that] The whole jealousy thing… I’m a jealous person by nature. So when I see a blog thats just super awesome and pretty, I’m like.. “this bitch” then I find out how nice the person is, and i’m like.. UGH! I can’t deal with myself. Your blog is amazing by the way. ;) Your confession is brilliant, and should be seen by every blogger out there. Truth be told, I’m not rich either! FAR from it. Doing giveawas sometimes requires me to save up for a week or two, but I do it because I love to give. I love the feeling it gives me to make someone happy. As for the reviews, keep them honest. We all write reviews with our hearts. You have to. Otherwise it’s not honest. If you loved it, you loved it. If you hated it.. and people are gonna say something because you didn’t like it, fuck ‘em. Don’t like it? don’t read it! True followers are always going to support you!! YA Vixens will be here for you, as a fellow random bloggers. We all want whats best for our blogs, I mean they are our children. When your child thrives, you thrive. Lets make the random bloggers strive! I’m totally posting a link to your blog on my blog. Stay beautiful, quirky, snarky, and honest to a fault!
    <3 bethany @ ya vixens

  20. This is a GREAT post. Thank you so much for being so candid.

    I’ve definitely experienced jealousy over my years of blogging. I think it’s a normal thing. Being up in Canada, I don’t get boxes of review books sent to me, or any unsolicited books at all. If I want a review book, I make sure I *really* want it and sometimes request from the couple publishers I have a relationship with, or ask on NetGalley. If I don’t get it, I don’t get it. I have to remind myself of all the unread books I have that I can read, and of my local library which has a great selection of books.

    But even then, sometimes I see other bloggers’ book hauls and it makes me sad that I can’t just go out and spent lots of money on books whenever I like. Sure, I do it sometimes, but not every week. On the other hand, part of me wonders how book bloggers can actually READ all of these review books they’re getting — especially when they get anywhere from 5-15 a week. I mean, I love reading, but I do have other things I like to do with my time.

    When it comes to my blog, I’m not about to spend lots of moneys to host giveaways. I’ve learned that people come FOR the giveaway and don’t really stick around. I love the followers and commentors I have who actually come because they like ME and they like the content I place on my blog — I put a lot of thought into my discussions and reviews, as well as my blog in general, so it’s wonderful to have the regular people who stop by. But giveaways to attract followers has never really appealed to me. I’d rather try and build relationships through the blog or some other social media outlet.

    But I digress. In the end, jealousy is totally normal, but like other commentors have said, it doesn’t matter if you review a new book or an old book — if someone just loves books, they won’t care if you’re not reviewing the latest and greatest. I have TONS of older books on my shelves, barely any new ones at all. I’m happy that I still get to discover those ones — what may seem old to me may still be new to somebody.

    Thanks for posting this!

  21. I agree with a lot of what you said. It’s completely normal to feel jealous when you see lots of people getting lots of books and attention. It’s like we’re all putting in tons of work in our blogs and only some people are getting attention.

    I try to remember that a lot of them have been blogging for years or host events/giveaways that draw followers though. As long as your content is fresh and honest (like this post) I’m sure you’ll grow over the years. Just never give up. And as much as blogging is for our followers, it’s also for us to record our years of bookish experiences and share our thoughts. That alone (as cheesy as this sounds) is a big reward. And even though you’re not getting as many comments as you want that doesn’t mean people aren’t reading your content. Sometimes I read, but don’t comment.

    Also, I can’t afford to go to lots of signings and stuff, but twitter parties and online chats are free and so much fun!

  22. Megan, I think it’s great that you had the guts to post this. I believe this is the way MANY bloggers feel (myself included), but won’t just come out and say. Blogging can be such hard work sometimes, and it sucks to see some people get the privileges when others don’t, even though they work just as hard. It’s even more difficult to see *certain* bloggers get things they don’t deserve (after stealing other’s work and passing it off as their own…I think we all know who I’m talking about here). It’s a terrible feeling to see book haul posts with all these great books and it’s people who are on about the same level of blogging as you…but you can’t get stuff like that. Why? What’s the difference between you and them? What aren’t you doing? Is there something you’re doing wrong? Sometimes it feels like the pubs play favorites.
    And it sucks that sometimes you have to bribe people with free stuff. I guess that’s just the way people are. I’m like you, I can’t really afford to do giveaways. I do them anyway, though, and I don’t think many of my readers know how hard it is for me to scrape up even 20 bucks to spare on a giveaway that I don’t have to host. They take it for granted because hey, it’s free, who cares about the person giving it away?
    I know how it feels to be under-appreciated, so I can definitely relate to this post. It’s only recently (after a year of blogging) that I’ve finally made blogging friends. Before that, I had to work my ass off just to get a few pageviews and some attention. Even still, I’m not a well-known blogger by far.
    This is a GREAT post that I think everyone should read. Honesty really is the best policy, keep on truckin’ girl!

  23. Wow, this post really opened my eyes. I AM a jealous blogger, though I don’t think about other bloggers very often. I usually only get to thinking when I see their hauls and I do the same thing as you…I start thinking to myself why I can’t get books like them when I work just as hard.(probably not exactly the same, but…) I have been following your blog for months now, but I rarely have time to leave comments on blogs(terrible excuse, I know), since I am at school 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. I barely ever even have time for blogging, though I still enjoy communicating with people about books. I understand how you feel about not going to conferences, though for opposite reasons, really.( I don’t even have a driver’s license!) It doesn’t help either that I live out in the middle of nowhere.
    I usually don’t get to buy books, also for different reasons, so I enter giveaways. I still get plenty of books to read so I’m not complaining, and I do get a ton of books for Christmas!
    I won’t rattle on for any longer, but I just wanted you to know that I DO enjoy reading your reviews, and checking out your interviews. If anything, you inspire me to be a better blogger.
    Kierra

  24. Wow, I don’t know what to say. I’ve felt like that sometimes but since I’ve always known that jealousy is not good, I don’t really get mad, I get sad because I feel like what you described. Specially because I don’t have a job, so I’m poor too and I do wonder how others get jobs but not me, and how fun they get to meet authors and be friends with them and everything else but I can’t because I can’t go anywhere because of the money.
    Then, when I’m sane again I say to myself that I shouldn’t worry about that, I should be okay with what I have. I started blogging because I wanted to connect with other bloggers and thought it would be fun. I didn’t know bloggers could get free books, be friends with authors and publishers and got to go to cool places until after I started blogging and looking at posts.
    All I can do now is to keep looking for a job and hope that once I have one, I’ll get enough money to at least go to one conference.
    Be patient, keep working hard and you’ll get there.
    I’m new here, I followed a tweet to your post

  25. Megan,

    Thank you for this honest insight into the life of a book blogger. I wish more people from the publishing industry could see your perspective. I don’t know if you’d be interested, but I would be happy to send you signed copies of my books, no strings attached, just to thank you for your honesty. If you’re interested, you can find me on Goodreads or at my website and contact me.

    Sincerely,
    Eva Pohler

  26. I think what you need is a Book Daddy. You need a Book Daddy to buy you the lastest book, hook you up with the hottest authors, and take you to the red carpet book signings.

    You can spot a Book Daddy from his messed up black hair, piercing blue eyes, and British accent. He often has a book tucked under his arm and always has perfect abs. He might be possessive at times, but he has a never ending cash flow and will be your book partner until the last paperback book is sold (cause when the world switches completely to digital, I think all of us book nerds will /wrist).

    I’ll be on the lookout for your future Book Daddy and I’m sure the other ladies (amirite?) will too.

    (Hope this brightened up your day a little. I’m not a consistant follower of yours, but you do have some pretty kick ass posts that I keep stumbling on so I’m subbing up now. :D)

  27. I TOTALLY get where you are coming from with this post! The thing with me is I’m less jealous about what ARC’s and books people get, and I’m more jealous about the traffic and comments people get on their blogs. I started my blog at around the same time as a bunch of now big name bloggers and while all of their blogs skyrocketed in popularity and have thousands of followers, mine is just kinda mehhh. When I see other blogs with lots of comments and traffic I think to myself “Why are they getting so much attention? Aren’t I just as good as them? WHY NOT ME?!?!?!” Then I try to remind myself that blogging needs to be about me sharing something I’m passionate about, and if people respond to it and comment that’s a bonus, not a given. I feel like we need a blogger support group for this kind of thing. Haha. :P

  28. I actually went and read 99% of this post :) yey for us…

    If you’re interested in a new publisher, Entangled Publishing allows me to choose books and send me a print copy if they are available :) Just in case you want more books :)

    Hope you stay with blogging even though sometimes people just don’t want to comment or reply. Imagine how I feel. I only have about 300 followers and I’ve been doing this for almost two years. But then again, I don’t want to imitate other successful bloggers and followers aren’t a big deal to me. I care more about the interaction on my blog. And even that, people don’t even give me.. Bah.

    Anyway, hi, I’m Arianne :)
    @ariannecruz07

  29. *APPLAUDS* thank you Megan for your true honesty. I just landed on your blog because someone from my Twitter feed RT’d it and yes this is my first time on your blog. Can I just say how I am completely quoting you here:

    “Why should I care that other bloggers are inundated with books they might not even ever read? Why should I be jealous of bloggers that are nothing like me? Why should I care that bloggers get to enjoy signed books?”

    THIS is the truth. Sometimes those hauls are just insane..I have done it. I can’t stop myself sometimes from seeing a book and buying it either. I’ve mostly stopped due to monetary reasons LOL

    There really is no need to be jealous of others..It’s really about the books. Simple as that. I do admit I take photos of my hauls, or take photos of any book I see in the book store because I AM EXCITED that book is coming out and I have to share it with everyone else. It’s really not about showing off, or being competitive about stats and the amount of followers you have, it’s about the content that you write, the friendships that you make, and most of all the the pure joy in reading.

    *hugs*

    As I say..”Book nerds make THE BEST FRIENDS <3"

  30. Jealousy is a feeling that we all have.. we are not unemotional people who don’t feel. I mean we are all book loving people and if i see some bloggers squealing about receiving a copy of unravel me or requiem, of COURSE i want to be them.. or at least get a copy like them. Jealousy is a normal thing, nothing to be ashamed of. Envy is the problem and you obviously don’t have that. Trust me, i do not spend 100$ on books. Even when I have the money I don’t do that because well, i have better uses for this money than buying countless books i know i will shelf for years and never read. As for the blogger stats.. girl you need to give yourself a break! it is not good for you mentally to be so affected by numbers. I know I was like that before and it wasn’t pretty. I love the honesty of this post and I thank you for being courageous enough to post it for everyone to read. That took some guts and I admire that :) For getting more comments, what we do is comment on other blogs.. trust me when i say this increases your stats like magic.. except its from hard work. I see all these supporting comments and I am sure that you’ll be A-Okay :)

    Juhina @ Maji Bookshelf

  31. I admit, I get jealous of bloggers. Not the ones who get the giant hauls (that ended when I ran out of space!) but the ones who get to go to signings and launch parties and BEA. I don’t live in the US, and even though I do live in the capital city signings are still really really rare (because it costs money to get an author to come here… I don’t know why local authors don’t do that stuff. Very frustrating) so it’s me getting all green-eyes at that.

    But on the other side of things, I get to be one of thousands sitting in the hot sun for hours while I wait for twenty minutes of walking celebrities (and “celebrities”) whenever a new Hobbit/LOTR premiere happens. And I’m sure others get green-eyed at that.

    (Well, some of it. I doubt it’s the massive sunstroke and painful sunburn part)

  32. I only recently found this blog when someone I follow on Twitter sent a link of your idea for doing the book exchange, and I thought that sounded like fun! Then I read some of your reviews, and was so glad to discover a blog for twenty something women who like strong heroines…because that’s me! I think it’s great that you’ve put your feelings out here in the open (I mean, look at the response!)

    I’m not someone who gets jealous, so I won’t chime in with the understanding, but do want to say how much I respect your blog, even though I’m a new follower. Your posts are well thought and your layout is easy to read and I like how you aren’t 100% YA.

    I can get sympathize with you on the irrelevant master’s degree. Not only did I go to grad school for international studies, I specialized in latin american studies…yeah, no jobs, which is why I switched to libraries, and even though it requires another degree, I don’t regret it (bonus: I’m never turned down for ARCs…maybe you should consider it!)

    Because I work in a library I read a variety of reviews as a way to improve my reader’s advisory skills, so I’m interested in thoughtful analysis of books even if they aren’t something I’d be personally interested in, though I love finding bloggers whose personal interests mirror my own. For me, it’s helpful to remember that traffic and comments mostly come from other bloggers, and I certainly can’t keep up with hundreds of blogs, so I find it more meaningful to follow those whose content is most useful to me professionally and who I can enjoy interacting with personally, rather than worry about stats. Quality over quantity, just like my shoes ;)

  33. I really appreciate the courage I’m sure it took to write this. But it’s so late at night that all I really have to say is: amazingly accurate and detailed metaphor about getting your ass handed to you on a platter on the internet. Excellent stuff.

    And now I feel bad that that is the main thing I gathered, so also: Onward! I, personally, am super-impressed that you are such a dedicated reader and book-blogger. The world needs people like you, if only because you bring me so much joy. :)

  34. You know, I’m also a jealous book blogger, but maybe in somewhat untraditional way: I’m jealous of other people’s time. When I’m not at school or work I spend the majority of my life going to or from those places on a train, doing homework. I can’t write the posts I want, can’t write as *many* posts as I would want. I feel sometimes that I’m inadequate and then I get stressed and I’m not sure what to do. The cycle repeats.

    Then I tell myself (every time, I tell myself): I’m doing what I can. And that’s all I can ask, and that’s all I can want. I’m honest with myself and the things I write, I’m proud of. They’re me. If we do what we can and we put our honest selves and love into it, then I think that’s all anyone could ever ask.

    Thank you for this post, and thanks for being you. :)

  35. *grabs fist and uses it like a microphone* You are more beautiful than Cinderella! You smell like pine needles, and have a face like sunshine!

    Sorry. I probably shouldn’t even comment, I am a lower than low, non-professional book blogger…but I feel you.

  36. First off, thank you for being brave enough to express your true feelings on this subject. Judging by the comments above, most bloggers feel that way at some stage (if not a lot of the time!). Secondly, I’m not a book blogger but I’m an author who follows your reviews and I can be a fuss pot about what I tweet and who I follow. I tweet your reviews a lot! And I follow you :) Hugs, AD Xx

  37. It’s kind of funny you say this, as you are one of the bloggers I look up to as an example of where I want to be at almost 2 years in. DUDE if I could hit 2000 followers in any format, I would be thrilled.

    And yes we all suffer from jealousy to some extent. I am lucky in that 99% of the time I am able to let it go. But every once in a while I can’t and I feel horrible.

    But just remember even though you don’t think you are where you should be sometimes, there are those of us that look up to you for how to do it right. *hugs*

  38. I have so much agreement. I still feel a little jealous looking at your following numbers but really I would rather have a small following of people with similar tastes that I can relate to then a huge unknown following, though right now I would like any following at all. I ran my blog for years without thinking about such things. I think when I finally did it was an identity crisis regarding what the point of it is. I think sometimes I obsess over the blogging world because I feel like if I can’t be successful in my real life, maybe I can be in blogging. I am an unemployed 25 year old with a Masters that failed to open doors. Right now I’m even jealous of your poorly paying part time job. We can’t help but be jealous. I hate that there are never bookish events in my area. Ironically I don’t envy the big book hauls anymore because I would rather focus on the books I want to read then feel obligated to read ARCs. I think sometimes we have to remind ourselves that if we don’t enjoy our blog then our readers won’t either, so keeping ourselves happy is pretty darn important.

  39. Your honesty is so refreshing, Megan. As several others have already said, these are thoughts that the vast majority of us have had in the past (and the present), so you are definitely not alone.

    I tried to avoid book hauls for a while, but then I realised I actually missed seeing people that get really excited about what they receive – whether it’s the next ‘big thing’ or just a Kindle freebie. So now I only read the haul posts of people that I know are genuinely excited about their books and that also share them with their friends and other bloggers.

    In all honesty, I haven’t visited your blog before, but I HAVE noticed you on Twitter :)

    Just keep being yourself :)

  40. Megan your honesty was refreshing, raw and I would imagine therapeutic. Maybe because I am older and have been there done that I have learned to do things because I am passionate, and not give a rat’s behind what others have. When I was first married, with two kids and one on the way..i use to look across the street at our neighbor’s landscaped lawn and watch them with their new cars and beautiful daughter. The wife was always dressed to the nines, he seemed doting. Their home was Better Homes and Garden beautiful. We had little ones and I was stay at home Mom doing daycare in my home wearing sweat pants and a drooled on t-shirt .oh boy was I envious of that couple across the street. Then two summers later a weird thing happened and my envy bubble popped. The house went up for sale. I immediately assumed they were moving on up to the East side of town…Nope they were getting a DIVORCE..things had been bad for a long time, he cheated, she cheated…they were doing joint custody. She was moving into a condo. See from the outside I thought they were living the life. I wished we weren’t struggling and was jelly of their seemingly perfect life..but all along I had the life to be jealous about..I had the warm loving marriage..yeah we were so broke..but we laughed as we dreamed of the repairs we’d some day make to our home. That Better Homes and Garden home was nothing more than show.
    Be happy, enjoy the little things and let the jealousy go..you might not want their life if you got a glimpse of it beyond the blog.

  41. Hi Megan!
    You are not the only one out there who gets jealous We all do. It’s whether or not we will admit that to ourselves that is the real question. I get jealous all the time! I am in the same boat. I cannot afford those giant conventions or to go to all those great signings. I would much rather read someone who is true and honest. Your right. A lot of those blogger’s who receive those epic hauls don’t even read half of them. They end up just sitting there collecting dust which is sad. I look forward to reading more from you and just remember you are not alone :) :)

  42. I commend you on your honesty! I do have jealousy over book signings. I just don’t have the time or money to travel to them and I would love to meet fellow book bloggers and get signed books! But oh well maybe someday. For now it is just trips to the library. I totally feel you on being buried in student loans. I have my bachelors and really wanted to get my masters but I have so many loans already and the bachelors degree is doing little for me in this economy.

  43. Your honesty is what makes you admired. I relate to pretty much everything you say. I’m jealous in my personal life when it comes to seeing other guys and their bodies and their sheer ability to pick up ladies wherever they go – I on the other hand do not have the greatest body and have never had a real girlfriend. Sucks to be me.

    I too am jealous online, and mostly since I live in Australia and all the big book stuff are in the US like BEA or ALA… in which I’m saving my money to try and go to BEA next year. I am also in that same boat of moving to wordpress from blogger and I’m still suffering with only having email subs/RSS in which no one knows you can view in your google reader just like through GFC. It sucks to be me again.

    I’m jealous I admit, just like you. I’ve come to terms with it. But it’s what I have and CAN do that makes it worthwhile.

    Sincere post. <3

  44. Bravo to you. Great post. This is something I’ve felt a lot myself. I’m sure a lot of bloggers have (as evidenced by many of your comments). But I also know a lot of us wouldn’t have had the guts to admit it. I’m not a new blogger either. I’ve actually had my blog for a few years now. I’ve tried the giveaway thing, and author interviews, etc. Not much seems to grow my reader base. But I love that I have the readers I do.

    Thank you for posting this. It’s great to know I’m not alone!

  45. OMG thanks so much for this, I was beginning to wonder if there was something seriously wrong with me, because I would see the books and want to know well hell how’d she get all those and she’s got nothing really worth saying?? Yeah I do understand & thank you so much for sharing for being candid, for not holding back on something I’m sure more have felt but aren’t willing to admit.

    Thanks again for being brave & saying it with such grace
    Many hugs & blessings
    Aisha

  46. Megan, this is a great post. Some people are more deserving of things than others, and it truly isn’t fair when the latter get things the former do not.
    On the other hand, the grass is always greener. I am jealous of:
    - Some bloggers’ free time: especially all the SAHMs! I love my job, and I know being a SAHM is also a fulltime job, but gah! I feel like I’d get more done.
    - Your follower count. How do you do it? I am The Laziest Blogger In the World (TM) and that makes it hard for me to get counts up.
    - other bloggers’ eloquence. I feel like a country bumpkin with my “omg ya’ll I lurved this book so much” reviews, I wish I was better at it.

    I don’t usually get book envy (although I did tell Stephanie at Cuddlebuggery I hated her when she informed me she received The Elite by Kiera Cass), but I understand book envy. I’m very fortunate and blessed to be in a good position right now, because I know it may not last forever. I remember very well what it’s like to be poor (I was once so poor, I lived solely on ramen noodles and green beans – while working two jobs) and I hope to never experience it again. But I recognize that anything is possible and never look a gift horse in the mouth.

    I guess what I am saying is, you are not alone. :)

  47. I like this post a lot, even though I am sort of ‘on the other side’ where the grass is greener and all that — I am one of those bloggers who makes money blogging with ads and who usually has a big haul. I actually get jealous too and in a mean, petty way. Like, lol this is SO stupid but if someone gets a book I am envious of, I go look at their sitemeter and am all this person only gets 63 page views a day and I get 1000 WHAT IS THIS PUBLISHER THINKING, like ugly thoughts like that.

    Have you thought about getting blog ads/monetizing? It might help a little tiny bit.

    Anyways, we’ve all been there as far as jealousy goes.

    I commend you for this post and your honesty. It’s quite refreshing.

    • I’ve talked with Andi (Rywn) about monetizing. I like the idea, if only to use the money for contests and my $10 plane ticket to visit her for ALA, but since she is the one in charge of the website (I don’t really even know how to put up things on the sidebar with the system she’s set up) and she said no, I don’t think that will be happening anytime soon. We do Amazon Affiliates, though, and we’ve made 20 whole cents!

      Come on, Andi, one little ad wouldn’t hurt us! Would it?

  48. I just found your blog via a tweet, and I wanted to comment just to give you a very big hug! I hope you will feel better about everything, and just having been able to write down your feelings and share them here is something to be really proud of!

    I think you hit the nail on the head, the most important thing about your blog is that you love books, you love reading, and you love saying something about the books you read. I hope that will continue to be a satisfaction to you!

    And I can totally understand that jealousy, it can be hard to watch the huge and popular blogs that get tens (if not more) books every week – how on earth will they ever have time to read all those books?!? – but at the same time, you are so lucky! You do have a computer, and you have the time to read books. And then, you also have the chance to share your love (or hate) for those books.

    All I can say is keep on keeping on! And continue to be honest and say what you want to say. It is so important to just be you – nobody else can do that! Megan @ bookbrats is you, and I think you’re doing a pretty darned good job being you.
    *hugs*

    (PS: if you still have your blogger address and have redirected posts from that, you might be able to get all of your GFC followers back! I managed to add GFC to my WP blog yesterday, after I started the redirect from blogger)

  49. Seriously. *standing ovation*

    ….

    I actually try not to get jealous OFTEN. Because I know it does me no good, but there are TIMES when I get so mad and vindictive that I’m afraid of myself!

    Here’s an example… Last year when Alice in Zombieland was set to come out, and I saw people getting ARCs and such… Where was MINE? I’m the freaking ZOMBIE QUEEN for fucks sake.

    When I didn’t get a copy, I honestly felt like ALL the time and work I’ve put into BUILDING my blog, and all the time I spend daily – MAINTAINING my blog was literally for NO reason.

    And honestly I know that I shouldn’t let ONE BOOK dictate to me how I feel about my success in blogging. Right? And it’s not as if I requested a review copy and was denied – but honestly, I assumed to see one just show up in the mail.

    It never did.

    I ended up on a tour for the book, because one of my good blogging friends claimed they needed the ZQ on the tour! But I swear if she hadn’t have asked me, I NEVER would’ve read that book out of pure irritation at not having been acknowledged by the publisher.

    Yes… I’m that ridiculous… *sigh*

    Again dude, AWESOME post!

  50. I commend you for this. I get jealous too; I think in sine way we all do. But you have to try to move past it and focus on what you do have.

    I have three jobs and still struggle with money especially to buy books cuz my bills HAVE to.come first. So, we deal. One day I’m sure well be in better situations.

    I think you do a great job at book brats and have a great audience that will continue to grow with you

  51. Very well said, Megan.

    I agree with what the majority of people here are telling you: we ALL feel that way at some point about something. No matter how nice, or smart, or creative or whatever we hope to be, every person has a darker side. Having the guts to acknowledge it and own it is the first step in having any hope of controlling it or doing anything GOOD with it. You see, jealousy itself is natural. We all want “more”. That’s part of being human. It’s when we progress from wondering what we can do to improve and start wondering how we can get (insert person here’s) stuff that it’s a problem. Because (1) it makes us look — and far more importantly FEEL — awful, and (2) it leaves us powerless — there is NOTHING we can do about that.

    There are lots of ways to improve the situation, even if you can’t (and trust me, you can’t, I’ve tried and we’ve been around about the same length of time from what you’re saying) become a Super Blogger. Understanding what you want from your blog–not what anyone else expects but what You, Megan, want–is vital. I started feeling better, personally, when I realized I didn’t want to be one of the huge bloggers and quit chasing that. My blog’s name says it all: I Write, I Read, I Review, and it’s VERY much in that order. I *love* my blog, I love making new friends through my blog… But I read to learn to be a better writer, and the dream I aim for most desperately is simply to hold my finished novel in my hands.

    I can also feel for what you were talking about with regard to your degree. I attended university and was fortunate in that my parents paid for it, but it really did not do me any actual good in the job market. Now, I *am* on a pension because of my disabilities, BUT, that is not what I wanted from my life. (But that’s another thing, too: so often we have these fantabulous plans of how our lives are going to turn out and then the Gods, fate, or whatever just starts laughing uncontrollably in a pitch that only dogs can hear. “Plans? Silly human, you think you’ve got plans? Really, that’s a good one!”)

    From what I am seeing here, you’ve already got the biggest lesson I’ve learnt since I started blogging totally down. No matter what you’re doing, you need to be doing it YOUR way. If something isn’t authentically YOU that will show and it won’t be pretty. Being YOU is the one thing that no one else can do, it’s what sets each of us apart, makes us memorable and gives us a unique and legitimate reason to be part of the blogosphere.

    Anyway, I actually wrote about blogger jealousy early last year. In case you’re interested: Blogging: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.

    You are NOT alone!

    • “There are lots of ways to improve the situation even if you can’t become a super blogger…” overnight.

      ^^ Argh, I hate when I lose my train of thought and I don’t see a way to edit that to fix it. That’s what I meant. If that’s your goal (yet again, not sure what *is* so I’m trying to stay neutral) the only thing to do is keep going. FWIW, whatever your goal is, the best thing to do is keep moving forward, one step at a time, and (most importantly) remain ever hopeful. For whatever you want, You must believe before anyone else will.

      There. That should make a bit more sense. :)

  52. I totally avoid all those “Stacking the Shelves” posts!! I purposely don’t read them because I find myself getting jealous. I’m like WHY did she get all those books?!?!? NOT FAIR! Blogger jealousy definitely gets to me at times. I put a lot of time and energy into my blog and sometimes I feel like it’s all for nothing… like no one even reads it but me. But then I remind myself that I started blogging because I like reading and writing and I shoudn’t care what other people think or how many ARC’s I’m getting. It sucks that I have to tell myself that A LOT more than I should… but I’m a jealous person too I guess. I had no idea blogging was so competitive when I started out… but now I know!! Thanks for writing such an honest post! :)

  53. Wow Megan, I applaud your honesty. As a new blogger I’m not sure if I’ve had enough time to go through these stages, I’m too busy being overwhelmed by all the information out there. But I can definitely see where the jealously is coming from and I wouldn’t be surprised if I found myself in your position. I think most, if not all, of us go through this, some more than others, but it takes a strong person to recognize it and try to change.

    BTW: your blog was one of the first ones I discovered when I started blogging and I loved it from the beginning. It’s time I show that by hitting follow.

  54. Oh my goodness – I love this so much! I think we all deal with jealousy from time to time whether it be jealousy of blogging or just life in general. This post is incredible because it’s honest and I think a lot of us just don’t want to admit that we may or may not be jealous of other bloggers. For me it’s not so much being jealous of the books, but of everyones constant stream of witty content that everyone seems to love. But then I think – that it doesn’t matter because even though I might not have the same following as others, the followers I do have enjoy the content I produce. (or at least I hope they do)

  55. It is so great to see someone feels the same way as me. I am also a poor student who wishes they could go to cons and have giveaways, but I just can’t afford it. I really really want to start doing book reviews, but I honestly can’t afford to buy books that are new enough to be an interesting review. I am so jealous of blogs more popular than mine (including yours lol). I am trying really hard to build a platform and following, but I’ve only be at it for about a month and have only 6 followers. Maybe one day we both will be awesomely popular blogs and have amazing jobs in the industry that pays us enough to afford books and cons.

  56. so beautiful and honest as a fellow broke reader i can understand some of what you’re going through once in a Tahereh Mafi book signing i had an internal debate with myself if i was going to buy both of her books or only just one for 10 whole minutes, i was like this probably will never happen again(I live in the Philippines we don’t get a lot of book signing) but i probably can’t afford it etc etc.almost all of my books are bought 2nd hand the only new ones are b-day gifts from my parent or when you stare at a book long enough at a bookstore and you’re parents see you they pity you and buy it. On a random side note i also read wikipedia for fun like ill start probably on a wikipedia page for a company and like an hour or 2 later im in a page of some rare species of animal or something.im also quite good at the wikipedia game

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